Have you ever tried to control creativity? To grip it too tightly, force it into shape, demand it show up right now and perfectly? If you have, you’ll know—it never works.

I (Jacquie) was reminded of this in the most visceral way at pottery school these past few weeks. The last time I touched a wheel at Ridgeway Pottery Studio & School, Bristol was over two years ago (huge shoutout to them!), and when I signed up again, I showed up thinking, It’ll be like riding a bike—I got this! Ha!

Have you ever tried to control clay on a wheel?

My first few throws were disastrous. Flop. Splat. Total collapse. The more I tried to get it right, the worse it got. I felt the frustration creeping in - I should be nailing it! I looked around. The two women beside me had already thrown three beautiful pots. Why am I struggling? Cue the familiar voice: "You're so stupid, you should just go home."

I felt more frustrated, annoyed. I'd paid good money for this course—I needed to get it right. But the more I tried to force the outcome, the worse it got. My hands were tense, my body rigid, I was completely blocking any creative flow. Then I realised—this wasn’t about the clay. I had been out of alignment all day. That morning, I slipped on some water at work and crashed down on my knee. It blew up like a balloon (nothing serious, but sore and shocking). My body had already been knocked off center, yet here I was, pushing through, ignoring the signs, insisting I could muscle my way to perfection.

My teacher must’ve sensed it. She came over and gently asked, "Had a bad day? Maybe take a minute?"

And then, Enter The Well Within...

That inner voice of wisdom whispered: "What’s really going on here, love? This isn’t about the clay. The flops and splats are okay. Remember last time? The moment you let go, you got into flow… Go on, sit back down, breathe, try again."

And just like that, something shifted. I softened. I let go of the need to force the outcome. And suddenly, I was in it. That effortless state where the creative force takes over, where time dissolves and something beyond ‘me’ steps in.

My pots got taller. My hands started to understand the clay, and instead of making it work, I allowed it to take shape. Some pieces took unexpected forms, but I didn’t resist—I played. I let the energy move through me instead of trying to command it. And when class ended, I left smiling, not because my pots looked ok and I had maybe redeemed my self-worth. But because I'd realised, reasonably quickly, that my temporary caught-up-ness was the gift that brought me back into reality. I'd fleetingly forgotten who and what I really was. And this was ONLY due to believing myself as separate from Lifes Intelligence in that moment, and 'I', Jacquie was responsible for throwing a good pot I'd be proud and I'd be respected, admired maybe!

(Ellie) My boyfriend and I have finally moved into our first home together, which after 8 months of waiting (which was originally meant to be three months of smooth sailing to completion), I'm so happy to be in and to create our unique home. During the 8 months I started to do some imaginary interior decorating and ordered my dream sofa, which of course fitted perfectly in my imaginary living room, but the reality as always, is never as it seems.

I was a nervous wreck on the morning of the delivery, having ordered the sofa in size large (which felt like better value for money at the time), we knew it would be a squeeze to get it up the stairs and around the corner to the living room. My anxiety levels rose when the delivery men came in to take a measurement and had a quiet chuckle to himself. It took a few attempts and various maneuvers, but they finally got it in.

Having spent the first month sat on camping chairs, seeing the large sofa in the living room taking up a lot more space, I was ambushed by an old familiar pattern of calling my mum in crisis mode. Thoughts of "god I'm so stupid for buying such a huge and expensive sofa" and "why did I let Tom do the measuring?!" were whirling around my head whilst I was hyperventilating and contemplating ordering a chainsaw to reduce the size of the beast.

In that moment I was temporarily derailed and completely caught up, stuck with no available space for creative or logical thinking. My mum advised me to take all of the random crap that hasn't found a place yet, out of the room in order to see the space free from clutter – do you see the metaphor here?!

Once the mind had settled, I could see the sofa for the big, soft, velvety beauty it was. I'd fallen in love with it again. These situations always serve as a reminder that the ever changing machinations of a controlling mind are unstable and unreliable, only when this is seen we can settle back into The Well Within, where clarity and capacity are always available.

The Truth About Control

As women—brilliant, capable women—we often feel we have to do it all and do it perfectly. We try to control the outcomes, believing that if we just push harder, be better, get it right, then we’ll finally arrive. But that’s not how creativity, leadership, or life itself works. Control tightens, restricts, and limits what’s possible. When we grip too hard, we block our own brilliance from shining through.

When we're really ready to open ourselves to a truth that may shake the very foundation of our identity— to see, perhaps for the first time, that there is no separate ‘I’ in control, no isolated self, making things happen,
only Life moving through you, as you?

This realisation may feel unsettling at first— confronting to everything we’ve been taught about selfhood and power. And yet, seeing this—really seeing it—
is the absolute grounding, the wellspring of our true power, creativity and infinite potential as women.

When we begin to surrender. When we start to trust ourselves and Life. That’s when the real magic happens. We move from force to flow. We create from a deeper, truer place. We step into more of who we really are.

Contemplations from The Well Within:

• Where in your life are you gripping too tightly, trying to control the outcome?

• How is your body speaking to you about what’s really going on?

• What would happen if you softened, allowed, and trusted instead?

You already have everything you need. All of it is waiting for you within—your creativity, your power, your extraordinary potential.

Go on, meet yourself in The Well Within and see what wants to take shape.

With love,

Jacquie & Ellie